Best Year of My Life

2004 is when I finally got my oh-so-deserved independence.

And 2004 is the year when I finally found love. Or I'd rather say love finally found me.

Thanks D for being the best part of my 2004.

Thank you God for the best year of my life.

Almost There

I'm standing at the threshold to a new life. Tomorrow is my BIG day. Tomorrow I will be FREE. Some may not be able to understand these words and how much they mean to me right now. But time will come when crumbs from my past will be translated into words so that anyone who went through an ordeal similar to mine may find inspiration in the story of my life.

I found this "Resignation Letter" a couple years ago and it inspired me to live and celebrate life no matter what I was going through. It helped keep my feet planted on the ground and everytime I read it, it reminds me of the things that really matter in life.

"My Resignation Letter" Author Unknown

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilitiesof an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mudpuddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........

......"Tag! You're it."

Staying Warm

Gotta stay warm tonight. My cold seemed to be worst today. So I'm just gonna sit infront of my TV and watch whatever is on my TIVO.

I also rented two movies: Napoleon Dynamite and We Don't Live Here Anymore. I might watch Napoleon Dynamite first and see how entertaining it is.

By the way, here's what I have in mind for next year. I decided to:

• Laugh louder
• Smile more
• Eat healthier
• Workout consistently
• Love like crazy

Tha's all for now. I'm sure my list would be longer by the 31st.

Ciao.

A Good One (At Last)

Today was rather busy. We have an audit coming up so I have to make sure all my hard files are in order and all my case notes are up-to-date. I also cleaned up my desk, getting it ready for the New Year. I like everything to be clean on New Year's Day so I had to throw lots of useless junk on my desk. I still have 3 drawers and two shelves to go through but that can wait till tomorrow.

One of my clients showed up in my office today. And guess what! She definitely made my day. She's showing remarkable progress in her life and that boosted my spirit. She asked me if I got the Christmas gift she left for me 2 weeks ago and I said no. She was disappointed. Well, anybody could have grabbed a box of chocolate from my desk. But she said she will come by again next week to give me another gift. I said no but then I realized sometimes, giving gifts boosts one's morale and it makes them feel good. So I just smiled and said Thank You.

D left for Nashville last night for a 3-night gig. I miss him already and I can't wait until I'm back in his arms on New Year's Eve. I love the way D makes me feel special. He calls from the airport while waiting for the plane to board and he called from Nashville airport to let me know he arrived safely. I thought that's mighty sweet of him. It makes me feel so special. Thanks sweetheart for being exactly who you are.

Okay, I gotta run. I'm still at the office and it's time to go. Maybe I'll write some more updates later when I get home. That's if I get around to do it. I think I have shows on TIVO that are long over due. :)

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

I came accross this wonderful piece as I was browsing today and I thought I'd share with everybody.

"People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."

By: Brian A. "Drew" Chalker

Ungrateful Freaks

I just banged the receiver back on the cradle because of one ungrateful freak who called my office. I was just trying to do my job but this woman is so ungrateful with the services (all free - paid by tax-payer dollars) we provide for her kids. She started yelling and cussing at me on the phone for no freakin reason! She wouldn't even let me talk! I think she's one of those people that still hold on to the mentallity of "we are poor because of discrimination" when the truth is, they choose to behave the way they do and they are not getting anywhere because of it.

I have dedicated my life to this job, this career, this calling. But lately, it's been a real challenge to come in and deal with difficult people, people who don't have the slightest desire to change. I have begun to develop an aversion to this job and I don't like it. I have mentioned in my previous entry that I have been so stressed out and I'm seriously considering another career. I don't know. I thought this would be a lifelong commitment to serve the people but I am seriously beginning to feel very tired. Everyday for about a month now, I have been dragging myself to work, not wanting to deal with another person's problem. I am tired and I feel like it's about time that I take care of myself too.

I am now writing my personal statement for graduate school and hopefully get laid off by the time I go to school. If I get laid off that would work out perfect so I could collect unemployment benefits while I go to school.

I am so pissed right now. God, how I wanted to yell back at that lady on the phone. I wanted to tell her I don't owe her anything and if her life sucks then she shouldn't take it out on people who are out there helping others get on with their life. I wanted to yell back at her but I didn't. I didn't because I know it would cost me my job. I didn't because I knew I didn't have to go down to her level and lose my cool.

I just wanna leave this place, right now. It's raining outside but I would happily take a walk, only if my boss would let me go. But my boss isn't here right now and despite the aversion I feel, I am still dedicated to this profession I choose. Yes, I am dedicated until I see an opportunity to get outta here.

Hopefully I see that opportunity soon. I need to permanently get outta here.

Day After Christmas

Today was a shitty day and I blame it all on Depo-Provera. No, I am not kidding. And I am not making excuses neither. I woke up grumpy, and sad and feeling all the worst emotions in the world combined. Maybe not but it sure felt like it. Then I remembered I had to take my car to Firestone to get my flat tires fixed. So I took a quick shower and drove to the nearest Firestone location.

The mechanic manager at the Firestone shop said he was short staffed today because one of his mechanics called in sick, therefore, it might take them about 2 1/2 hours before they fix my tire. And guess what, after hearing him say 2 1/2 hours, I suddenly felt like I was on the verge of crying! It was so weird! But of course I immediately realized it was Depo hormones that was causing my emotions to go on a wild roller coaster ride. Thank God they were nice enough to finish my car in an hour.

I met up with Rhoda later and even she, has to put up with this ad side effect of Depo-Provera. I really felt bad. And most of all, I was giving D a hard time. I knew it was the Depo Provera but it was kinda hard to get things in control when my hormones are going crazy.

But thanks to D for being patient with me, being so understanding as I go through this crazy phase as my body starts adjusting to the hormones again. He was so nice even as I went on a crazy roller coaster ride with my emotions coz if Depo, and he just made me melt in his arms. I love him more. :)

I just wish it didn't have to happen this holiday season.

Oh well, I think it's well worth it. Depo-provera spells PEACE OF MIND for me.

Not On Christmas Day

It's Christmas day and I almost got into an accident on Interstate 580 today as I was going 70 mph and my tire popped. I had to pull to the side of the freeway and tried to replace my flat tire with the spare I had in my trunk. Then I decided to just call AAA to do the job for me. I just didn't wanna wait for them to come but then I thought that should make life easier for me.

Yes, it was a shitty day. And D never got the chance to call me back.

And I think Depo Provera side-effects are starting to kick in.

I don't need any of these. No, not on Christmas day.

My Past Twenty-four Christmases

One more night and it will be Christmas Eve. Rhoda and I did some last minute Christmas shopping today, along with thousands of other people who proscatinate buying Christmas gifts. I was actually done with my shopping but Rhoda needed more for her family. God, the lines were freakin long! Parking lots were full and it was almost impossible to find a spot for my little car.

What's weird though is that in the middle of this crazy Christmas frenzy, I can't seem to get in the spirit of Christmas. It's so unlike it when I still live in the Philippines. Yes, I do have a beautiful tree, a freshly cut one that I water everyday, nicely decorated with Christmas balls, ornaments, lights and tinsels. I have a Christmas centerpiece on my coffee table, a wreath on my front door and a mistletoe hanging on the doorway. But why does it feel so different? Why can't I seem to get excited like the way I used to in the Philippines?

I sat there in my living room staring at the gifts under my tree. It made me feel good that I was blessed with a little bit of money so I can buy little presents for people I hold dear in my heart. But I am longing for that Filipino Christmas spirit. I just can't feel it. Maybe it's because I am away from my family and friends. Maybe it's because I am not in the same house where I have spent the past 24 Christmases of my life. Maybe because I don't see that many houses adorned with Christmas lights and other decors like they do in the Philippines. Or maybe it's because of the absence of a traditional "parol" (Christmas lantern) in front of my house. I don't know.

There are so many things that I am missing. When I was growing up, I used to think how Christmas would be better if my family could afford a nice Christmas tree, even just the fake ones. I used to dream of cutting my own Christmas tree and trimming it with nice ornaments and tinsel. I used to wish I can have a mistletoe in my house. All of these things used to be a dream, a wish. And I remember how I used to think that they would make Christmas merrier, better.

Then I moved to the United States. I went and cut my own tree. I trimmed it with tinsels and ornaments. I made a wreath for my front door and hung Christmas lights on my window. Mistletoes, poinsettias, Christmas stockings and all the good stuff. I got all the things I've always dreamed of as a kid. But no, they didn't make my Christmases here any better.

Every Christmas, I find myself still longing for that little Christmas tree made of sticks and twigs, decorated with candies and those styrofoam peanuts (ones you used in packaging) on a string. The Christmas tree standing in my living room right now is a far cry from the brown twigs my family used to have as a Christmas tree. The gifts sitting under my tree are way bigger than the presents that used to sit under the dried branches of what we called a "Christmas Tree" back home. But why can't I feel the same kind of Christmas spirit that I used to feel? What is it that makes Christmas back home seem way merrier and more festive?

I miss the festive Filipino Christmas. I miss singing Christmas carols and I miss handing out money and candies to Christmas carolers that come to our front door. I miss the "parol" and the "noche buena." I miss everything about Christmas back home.

Someday I'll go back. Someday I'll have that Christmas tree made of dead tree branches and twigs again.

Someday...

But for now, I'll just go sit by my tree, sip a glass of Eggnog as I listen to my Christmas CD, and relive the beautiful memories of my past 24 Christmases.

Cutting In Line

I went to Goldilocks earlier for dinner. I was craving for Filipino food, some adobo or bopis so I decided to drive all the way to Goldilocks in Pleasant Hill which is about 20 minutes away from my house. I patiently stood in line, waiting for my turn to order my food. By the way, this Goldilocks is not like any other Goldilocks. There are no food trays to look at so you can't just point to whatever you want. It's not the "turo-turo"* style Goldilocks. There, you have to order from their menu, you pay for it, you get a number, sit down and wait to be served.

So I stood in line for about 5 minutes, patiently waiting for my turn. I think I was fourth in line. When my turn came and I started placing my order, a sweet, young Filipino girl came up beside me and asked the Cashier if she could pay for her stuff that were sitting on the counter. Cashier girl looks up at me, smiled and said can I just ring her purchase up real quick? I looked at the young girl standing beside me. She's probably around 15 or 16. Then I looked at the Cashier in the eye and said, "You know, I stood in line and patiently waited for my turn. If she's in a hurry, well, I am in a hurry too. I am starving so I'm sorry, you can't let her cut in line. And besides, there's people in back of me waiting for their turn too."

The Cashier was taken aback. Poor woman. She must have expected that I was gonna let that sweet girl slide. But no, she has to learn early in life that if there's a line, then she has to go and stand at the end of the line and wait for her turn. I could have easily let her cut in line. But when you do that to people, they get used to it and they will eventually do it again. I think it is rude to cut in line and I'm sorry to say this but it happens a lot among Filipinos and other Asians.

It must be a cultural thing, huh?

*turo-turo (literally means "point-point" in English) is a Filipino-style dining where all the food are already cooked, placed in trays and all you have to do is point to whatever you like.

A Holiday Reminder

I was browsing in an online forum earlier when I came across a very inspiring "reminder" that I would like to share with everybody...

"During the holidays people are so susceptible to loneliness and depression that I wanted everyone to be very aware of friends around them who might "fall through the cracks". Sometimes we're so wrapped up in the holidays that we have a friend that we might have inadvertently forgotten. So, please, take a moment to call someone who may have been on your mind just to tell them that you are thinking about them this holiday season and that you care about them. You never know whose life this might save!

Signed, Someone whose life was saved one holiday by a friend who cared enough to pick up that phone! "

It's a very simple but meaningful reminder for everybody this holiday season.

Rainbows and Butterflies

I've always loved these lines from Maroon 5's song "She Will Be Loved:

"It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along"

Those lines describe precisely how I view life. Life is fun and they say it's what you make it. But I remind myself often times that life is not a bed of roses. And it sure isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes there's nothing but dark clouds and caterpillars.

As I live my life the way I choose to, I am finally realizing that I am learning more, not the academic kind of learning, but more on gaining life experiences that make me who I am now. I realized that to fully enjoy life one must remember that "it's compromise that moves us along."

There are tradeoffs in life. And one can only enjoy each moment, each heartbeat when he or she learns the art of compromise.

I'm beginning to realize that I am indeed growing older. It finally hit me today that I am getting close to my 30's and I'm not exactly sure whether this is something I should be excited about. Last time I checked, I didn't have that much wrinkle on my face yet so that's not to worry about. Alhough it seems like my metabolism turned it's back on me.

But let me tell you, I don't mind getting older. I don't really care that I am getting close to 30. I just like the fact that I am living, learning, and growing. It may not always be rainbows and butterflies but I have learned the art of compromise. I have learned to look at dark clouds and admire them for their mysterious energy. And I have learned to look at a caterpillar and appreciate its gracefulness and beauty.

I realized life gets better... even as I grow older. And I am thankful, not just for rainbows and butterflies but also for dark clouds and caterpillars.

A Little Bit Macchiavellian

pounding headache just before the holidays
misunderstood, love and all the good stuff
what am i saying here, nothing, really
this is nonsense
don't even know why
you would be reading this
just one stupid blog, one mundane entry
of an ordinary woman
living a stereotyped life
but i've been through a lot
life wasn't easy, life is kinda tricky
and yep, I might be ordinary
but I know I gotta be
a little bit Macchiavellian to survive.

If I Win The Lottery...

I will definitely buy one of these cabins as soon as one comes up for sale. I love this place. The whole Tahoe area is one of the most magical place I've ever been. It may not be as magnificent as the Grand Canyon but it is definitely enchanting.

I would love to own a cabin up there, a little getaway spot from the hustle and bustle of city life.

If I win the lottery, I sure will. :)

Today @ Lake Tahoe

Roda and I went for a day drive to Lake Tahoe today. I just got home and of course first thing I did was to upload our pictures to my PC. We only took a few pictures because my camera was acting up, with it's battery compartment broken, there's really nothing much I can expect from my piece of crap camera. But hey, I think it did a good job on this picture. :)

Roda @ Tahoe

Picture taken on our way up to Emerald Bay.

Friday Madness

I finally got my driver license taken cared of this morning. And I'm glad they didn't make me take the driving test (written) again. I just made sure I flashed my best smile while talking to the woman behind the counter. I thinked it worked coz she printed out an Interim License for me, took a new picture and I was good to go. No written test, no vision test, none whatsoever.

D came and picked me up later to go to the City. He had to go to the studio for couple hours then we met up at the Metreon later to watch a movie. We decided to see "The Aviator" which is a very long movie. The movie was so dragging I slept half way through it. I was ready to leave after the first hour but I sat through the whole thing with D. Cinematography is good but the script failed to keep my interest.

I gotta go to bed now. I am getting tired and I need to catch some sleep. Tomorrow, Roda and I are going to the snow! :) It's almost 1:30 a.m. I better go.

Expired Driver License

For some weird reason, I pulled my driver license out from my wallet earlier and stared at it. Then I realized it's EXPIRED!!!!! I have been driving with an expired license for almost 4 months now and I had no clue it was expired! I was lucky I never got pulled over coz if I did it would have been a major fine.

Now I am so nervous to drive back home. It's only 17 miles away but you'll never know what could happen. I gotta be extra careful now and pray that there's no CHP officer sitting by the freeway ready to pounce on me the moment I make a mistake. I'm glad I got a chance to make an appoitnment at the DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles) tomorrow. Gotta take care of this shit. I don't wanna be driving around on an expired license. No, not me. Not Waves, who is a law-abiding citizen (except when it comes to following speed limits). Hehe

Knowing What I Really Want

I had to deal with a difficult case first thing this morning. Again, due to the nature of my job, I cannot discuss in details what transpired but it was some heavy stuff between 2 of my clients. If you asked me if I know two people who are at the end of their ropes, these 2 clients are the perfect example.

So I talked to them, did some listening and counseling and all the stuff that I do as a social worker. After our session ended I was already exhausted. I sat on my desk contemplating about my career choice as I sipped a cup of stale coffee from the office coffeemaker. I did not enjoy that session. It was intense and it left me with a pounding headache. I used to enjoy doing one-on-one sessions, serving children, families and individuals and helping them overcome homelessness, unplanned pregnancy, family problems, unemployment and other crisis affecting them as individuals. I used to look forward to listening to them rant about their lives and their problems. But after my morning session, I just felt so drained. I felt like I need a break from this profession.

I am planning to get my Masters Degree next school year. Actually, I planned to go to Law School but I decided it is best for me to get my Masters Degree first which will serve as a trial run before Law School. I wanted to enroll in a Master in Social Work (MSW) program but after todays event, I am seriously reconsidering my options. I was also thinking maybe I should just enroll in an MPA/MPP Program (Master in Public Administration/Policy). At least I wouldn't be doing direct practice anymore. I would be indirectly serving the people and if I get lucky maybe get a chance to practice Public Administration in the macro level.

Then I thought, maybe I should just get a real estate license and start selling houses for a living. Lease a nice car, maybe a Mercedes so I have a nice car to take my clients around. Start wearing nicer clothes, put make-up on, flash a big smile and learn the ins and outs of real estate. Who knows, I might get lucky racking up commissions and in a few years I would be able to afford my first home.

But what about my passion of making a difference? What about my first love of helping people? Maybe I just need a new work environment. Maybe I'm just tired of the politics of my current work. Maybe I just need a breather.

Maybe I should start working on my resume and explore what's out there. I might be forced to take a big pay cut but if that's what it takes to make me happy about my career again, I will gladly do it.

Tuesday Shopping

After my Doctor's appointment today, D and I went shopping. I finally bought my Christmas gift for him - it's a Presonus uhmmm, i think it's called Preamp. Hehehe. It's a recording equipment that he really wanted so I thought it's the best gift for him. We also went to Best Buy and bought copies of Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I bought him the LOTR: The Return of the King and he gave me a whole set of the LOTR Trilogy. He also got the Special Extended Edition of the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" for me. This is one of my favorite movies, something that I would watch again and again.

I was also supposed to pick up 3 DVD's that I purchased online at bestbuy.com but it always takes them a looooong time to pull out online orders. Don't ask me why. I have purchased from bestbuy online few times in the past and it's always been a nightmare picking up online orders at their store. I don't know why I never learned my lesson. Promise, next time I buy something online, I'll buy it from Circuit City coz their pick-up process is always expedited.

Later in the evening, D and I went to the Apple store. I wanted a skintight case for my IPOD photo cos there is no way I would want my IPOD to get scratched so D got a a skintight case for it. I'm glad it fit perfectly and it looks like it will provide good protection for my portable music and photo library. :)

Of course we did a lot more - you know, things that only D and I share. (wink)

My IPOD Photo

You should have seen me freaked out today when I tried to track my Christmas package from D on Google and saw that my package had already been delivered. Meaning the FedEx delivery guy just fuckin left D's Christmas gift for me (an IPOD Photo) at the frontdoor of my apartment! I was hoping they would at least require a signature and if Iwasn't home to receive my package then I would have to go at their distribution center to claim it. But no, according to the online tracking on their website, my package had already been delivered.

So I sat there at my work thinking of some stupid white lie to tell my boss so he would let me go home and secure my package. I was scared that someone was gonna grab my precious package. I thought about playing sick. Or maybe some sort of an emergency. Then I thought, fuck it, why lie? Why not just tell him the truth? So I told him the truth, that I have an expensive item that was left by the FedEx guy on top of my stairs and that I was certain of that. On top of that, I had to tell him that I wanted to use a whole day of sick leave tomorrow because: #1 - I do have an appointment with my gynecologist and #2 - I am going to the City with D to buy his Christmas present. I'm glad my boss was in a good mood. It was a piece of cake asking him for time-off.

My heart was pounding as I drove closer to home. Negative thoughts keep bugging me. What if my package was stolen? What if the FedEx guy didn't really leave it there? What if the repairman took it? Grrrrrrr. As soon as I parked, I literally ran to my apartment and to my relief, yes, my little package was sitting there on my doormat! God, I was so relieved!

When I opened the box, first thing I checked was the laser engraving in the back. D got it personalized with my petname and a sweet message from him. God, I love it! Yes, it's been a few hours since I opened my IPOD but it's still covered in plastic. It's so white and so clean that I do not want my fingerprints on it! I think I might need to go to the Apple store tomorrow to get a skintight case.

It took me a while to format it when I connected the IPOD to my PC. I had to force myself to get out of the house because it was a torture staring at the IPOD screen with the blinking message: "Do Not Disconnect." Icame back 3 hours later and it was still doing it. So I figured there must be something wrong with either my PC or the IPOD. SO I restarted both, inserted the installation software and voila, I was done in 5 minutes!

Now I've synchronized it to my PC and transferred songs and photos to it. I played with for quite a while and I can see myself getting addicted to this thing already. It has music, photos, games, address book, and a lot more. I can't wait to go to the doctor's office tomorrow. I'm sure I will not mind the long wait at the hospital lobby anymore coz I have my IPOD with me to keep me company. :)

Thank you so much Babe for this gift! I am enjoying it already!!!!!!!!

Courage or Desperation?

I spent practically the whole day today shopping around for more Christmas presents, mostly for my friends' sons and daughters. Bought some stuff for myself too and some stocking stuffers for D. Now I'm home and getting ready to wrap a few presents.

Earlier, as I came to a full stop at a red light on Ashby Ave. in Berkeley, I noticed a woman, probably in her forties. She was standing at the intersection holding a sign for everybody to see:

"Homeless Woman
Need Work Help
Thank You"

And I sat there thinking how much courage does it take to hold a sign for the world to see. Or was it desperation that drove her to where she was? Then I began thinking about myself. What if I was in her shoes? Well, I don't know the facts of her life but I thought what if I was at the end of my rope? What if I reached a dead-end road and I only had two things to choose from so I could live: Beg or steal.

Would I let go of my pride and hold a sign to beg for help? Or would I choose to develop an uncanny skill of stealing? Will the end justify the means? Suddenly, I have a dilemma. I honestly don't know whether I would prefer begging over stealing. And I sure don't know whether I could justify stealing.

Hmmm, WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do)

You know, I have no clue. Really, I don't.

Movie Weekend

I am having a movie binge this weekend and it started on Thursday night. D and I watched Blade Trinity on Thursday night, Finding Neverland last night and Ocean's Twelve tonight. None of these three really impressed me except for once scene in Ocean's Twelve where the guy tried to cross the hallway through the laserbeam sensor.

I still have a few movies that I wanna watch here at home. I have Lord of the Rings and Maria Full of Grace. I don't think I'm in the mood for subtitled movies right now so I might run to Blockbuster and get another movie after finishing this entry.

I got me a few Karaoke VCD's from Tatak Pilipino earlier today. D gave me a good collection of Karaoke VCD's but I wanted some Tagalog songs so I spent half of the day browsing at Tatak Pilipino.

Okay. Gotta run to Blockbuster now to get a movie before they close.

A Day At The Race Track

I went to the Golden Gate Fields Race Track today. My boss decided to take us out on a staff "retreat" and we all decided to go to the Race Track and gamble. Yep, a bunch of Youth Development Specialists bet on horses today at the tracks.

I have never been to a Race Track before and I've never bet on a horse ever in my life. I'm not really into gambling just because I don't see any sense in throwing money down the drain. Although I have to admit that I it was fun gambling in Las Vegas. It is so much fun that it makes it easy to get addicted to it. Little winnings here and there and you're hooked. That's why I always make sure that I put a cap on my gambling budget when I hit the casinos.

So back at the race track, I had no idea what to do. My boss briefly explained the mechanics of the game but damn, to my ears, he sounded like he was speaking in some foreign language. I do remember some of the terms but I don't exactly understand how they work. Exacta, Exacta Box, Quinella, Trifecta, Superfecta, Parlay. I had no clue what those shit were all about!

Since I didn't know what the hell I was doing and how I was supposed to pick my horse, I just picked whichever appeared to be agitated and antsy (a tip given by D). And I didn't win anything on that Race. So on the second race, I bet on two horses with the best sounding name. I placed my bet on Horse #1 - "I'm Really Shining" and Horse #7 - "Fastest Star." I guess today is not my lucky day because I won nothing on that race too. So on the third round, I decided, what the hell, I'll just pick a random number. I picked Horse #3 - "Big Guy's Prospect" and guess what. He was first place! I won! I finally won! I should have bet more money on that freakin horse. Damn it. Oh well, I got back all the money I spent so it's all good.

I had so much fun watching those horses go for the finish line. But it wasn't fun losing money. That's the thing about gambling. It's very entertaining and addicting when you're winning. And when you're losing, you still keep playing because you always hope that you'd win next time you place a bet. No, you don't wanna get stuck in that process.

So everytime I go to the casino I always make a promise . I promise myself never to spend more than what I intend to and if I start winning big time, I promise to get the hell out of there and spend my money somewhere else.

Okay, I think I am craving for Indian food. I'm gonna go get me a Chiken Biryani and Mango Lassi and then hit the movie theater.

Later.

No More Headache

I heard the phone ringing so I picked it up and it was D. It always makes me feel good to get those morning calls from him. I love it when he calls me with my pet name. It just tickles me inside and everytime I hear him say it, I can't help but smile.

After talking to him, I realized that the throbbing pain is gone! Thank God! It would have been hell if I woke up with a bad headache. I have a meeting at 10 and a headache is the last thing I want.

Nada, Nothing, Zilch

Yep, that describes my day. Nothing out of the ordinary. I just got done watching Billboard 04 Awards Night and I have a very bad headache that won't go away even after taking Excedrin. Maybe I just need some food in my tummy. But I've had this headache since 2 p.m. while I was at work. And it is killing me right now. And of course staring at my computer monitor is just making it worst.

I'm gonna go get me a glass of milk and then I'll hit the sack. This headache is making me feel so damn tired. Hopefully, I'm gonna wake up tomorrow without this throbbing pain in my head.

Good night!

Not So Creative Pic

Okay, so here's a picture of my Christmas Tree. My camera's battery was almost out of juice when I trying to take a few pictures so I wasn't able to get a nice shot from a good angle. I just wanted to snap a pic so I could post one here. And after I shot this one, bam, the camera went dead.

I'll replace the batteries tonight and try to get a better shot of my tree. :)

See those lights on the floor? I wasn't done with my tree yet when I took this picture. I just got so excited to see how it would look in a picture so I snapped this one anyway.

More pics coming up...

Shitty Weather

I woke up to a shitty weather this morning. It was cold and dreary outside, rain kept on pouring. I'm glad D gave me a wake-up call coz if not, I would probably have called in sick. I felt so lazy and didn't want to drag my ass to the shower. But after getting up to pick up the ringing phone, I cheered up upon hearing D's voice.

Traffic was shitty too. Damn, it took me an hour and 20 minutes to get to work today.

Now I am sitting here at work, holding the phone to my ear on my shoulder, listening to my coworker rant about a meeting that turned into a shouting match. And that meeting involved my boss. I was there too. I witnessed it. ANd now she's trying to get my feedback.

Well, guess what, I am pleading the Fifth Amendment. I already gave my feedback to my boss. That he was out of line. I am no longer participating in this load of crap.

My lips are sealed. Bu-bye.

Finally Finished Tree

I finally finished decorating my tree last night and guess what. It looks like s***! I have no artistic abilities whatsoever. First, it was so frustrating to put the lights on, weaving the stupid green string of lights in and out of the branches. Then I had hard time putting the freakin’ garlands on. I’m glad D showed me how to put those string of glittering balls on my tree.

Then I had to put my pathetic collection of cheap Christmas balls I bought last year. See, all Christmas stuff go on sale right after Christmas so I bought all my Christmas decors almost a year ago. I was so frustrated hanging those balls because I had no idea how I was supposed to do it. Was I supposed to distribute them evenly? Or is it better to just randomly hang them anywhere on the tree? Then I remembered something I read online that I have to put ornaments both inside and outside the tree to give it a sense of depth. So I did. Depth effect? I don’t know. I can’t really tell the difference.

I have a few ornaments in my collection, some from places I’ve been like Arizona and Yosemite, some I made last year and some of them I bought ready-to-hang from the store. They’re not the prettiest but hey, they added a little personal touch to the tree.

Then came the part I hate the most. Putting the tinsel on the tree. I hate it because they always get tangled in my hands and I had no idea how the hell I was going to put those hairthin glittering tinsel. So I just grabbed a few strands and kinda throw them randomly on the tree, here and there, everywhere. Yep, I had tinsel on the tree, on my hair, my shoulders and yeah, tinsel all over the floor. Grrrrr.

Then I realized that the worst part of having a Christmas tree is not putting tinsel on it but taking it down, putting the ornaments back in their respective boxes and making sure the strands of Christmas lights don’t get all tangled up for next year. Then I have to take the tree outside and cut it up because the garbage truck won’t pick it up unless it is 5 ft. or less. Mine is 6 ½ ft.

No, I am not looking forward to take my tree down. And no, I am not looking forward to having a tree next year. But then maybe I just need a little more practice. Actually, looking at my tree this morning before I left work, I kinda felt proud. Yes, it is MY tree, no matter how ugly and uncreative it may look.

Okay, I think I changed my mind. The truth is, I did enjoy decorating my tree so I guess I’ll have another one next year, and hopefully by then, I would have cooked up some ideas on how to make it look pretty and festive.


*I’ll post pictures of my tree as soon as I upload them on flickr.

When It Rains It Pours

and it's pouring blessings all over me.

Life is really good.

More updates coming up...