Blah Blah Blah

Too tired to think of a title. LOL

I'm sitting here on my bed right now, trying to wind down. I didn't plan to write an entry for today but I have so much stuff in my head right now that I feel the need to kinda unload. So here we go.

.

I just got done watching Amazing Race and I'm so happy Joyce and Uchenna won coz I've been rooting for them since Joyce had her head shaved. I thought that was a very touching moment, very meaningful. And the way Uchenna kept reassuring her how beautiful she was even with shaved head, man, it made me swoon! Hehehe I'm just glad they have more than enough money now to go for their dream of starting their own family. And of course it was so satisying to see how disappointed Rob was. But let's not talk about that.

Earlier when I got home today I got a letter from the Dept. of Human Services of Contra Costa Country for a job I applied for. I passed the initial screening and now I have to go take a written test. God, I so want this job. It pays more than what I am making now and that would be really nice. Who knows, I might even be able to afford a little house in the suburbs if I get this job. So we'll see. I know I have to study hard for the test though. So please cross your fingers for me and wish me the best of luck for this job.

Oh, I forgot to mention on my entry yesterday that there was another shooting close to my office yesterday. My boss, a coworker and I were sitting in the office, talking when we heard "bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang," probably eight shots. And my boss said, "Hmmmm, sounds like somebody just emptied a gun!" My coworker started walking to the door and my boss tried to stop him but he laughed and he said "I am going to lock the door." So we sat there waiting for the sound of sirens.

5 minutes. No sirens. 8 minutes. Still no sirens. So we thought it was probably just another "harmless" shooting. 10 minutes passed and there they were. Cop cars and fire trucks all over the place, about a block away from my office. My boss went to check and sure enough, there was an old African-American man, probably in his 50's on the ground and a woman cradling him. Fuck. Then I heard cop cars zooming by. It sounded lke they were chasing somebody or maybe they were just in a hurry to get somewhere. I don't know.

But it amazed me how long it took for cops to show up. Fucking 10 minutes, dude. That's helluva long time for them to show up! It's so disappointing. Everything that's been happening in this neighborhood, the stories you hear are so sickening and depressing. So in a way I am glad I am getting a new job. My workplace is getting way too dangerous for me. I think it's really time for me to go.

So that's pretty much it for today. I've been busy trying to look for a part time job and it looks like I'm gonna get one soon. Just something to pay off my bills and something to do with all the time in my hands when D leaves. Yep, D, the love of my life will/might (I'm not sure) be moving away soon.

Been trying to push that thought to the back of my mind but it's been tugging the strings of my heart since he told me it could soon be a reality. It really sucks coz this is only the second time I allowed my heart to totally let its guard down. To love unconditionally, no reservations and never holding back. D and I've been through a lot of hurdles and we've always come out stronger and wiser. And I hope in my heart that we can get through whatever lies ahead of us.

Yeh, it seems like I have so many stuff on my plate right now. Getting laid off, new job, less money (therefore I need a second job), looking for better paying jobs, D's move. But hey, I think this is the perfect time to live my life one day at a time.

Just one day at a time. Yesterday is gone and we can never change it. Tomorrow is not here yet so why worry about it. Today is here so I might as well enjoy it.

Life is good.