It's 2:11 A.M.

Needless to say, I can't sleep. I already spent half the night watching TV. My eyes are tired. My body is sore from an hour jog/walk around the lake. Spent a good hour or two reading my LSAT materials. But still I can't sleep.

I even turned off the light and propped my pillows right. Still can't sleep. I don't know why tonight I felt this strange longing and aching for D. I just wanted him to be right here with me, close to me. I laid here on my bed in the dark, and tried to force myself to sleep but sleep's evading me. I tried to hug my pillow tight as I often do everytime I miss D but tonight, it's not doing anything to me. So I decided to grab my laptop and start yping away. Hopefully, sleep will come as I exorcise my mind from these thoughts....

Tonight, I felt sort of lonely. Yep. I did. Reason I can't sleep. It's fucking stupid. I'd like to think of myself as an independent woman, that I can do anything, that I can shape my own destiny no matter what. I'd like to think that as an independent woman I wouldn't spend a night like this, soaking my pillows with tears just because I am overwhelmed with an intense longing for the love of my life to be here, right here, right now. No, I never thought I would reach this point, me, crying because I wanna feeel his arms caress me, longing to be close to his warm body, and I want it right now. No, I'm not talking about sexual intimacy. Not at all. I just want him to be here...

And tomorrow, I wanna wake up in his arms...

That's all.