Ungrateful Freaks

I just banged the receiver back on the cradle because of one ungrateful freak who called my office. I was just trying to do my job but this woman is so ungrateful with the services (all free - paid by tax-payer dollars) we provide for her kids. She started yelling and cussing at me on the phone for no freakin reason! She wouldn't even let me talk! I think she's one of those people that still hold on to the mentallity of "we are poor because of discrimination" when the truth is, they choose to behave the way they do and they are not getting anywhere because of it.

I have dedicated my life to this job, this career, this calling. But lately, it's been a real challenge to come in and deal with difficult people, people who don't have the slightest desire to change. I have begun to develop an aversion to this job and I don't like it. I have mentioned in my previous entry that I have been so stressed out and I'm seriously considering another career. I don't know. I thought this would be a lifelong commitment to serve the people but I am seriously beginning to feel very tired. Everyday for about a month now, I have been dragging myself to work, not wanting to deal with another person's problem. I am tired and I feel like it's about time that I take care of myself too.

I am now writing my personal statement for graduate school and hopefully get laid off by the time I go to school. If I get laid off that would work out perfect so I could collect unemployment benefits while I go to school.

I am so pissed right now. God, how I wanted to yell back at that lady on the phone. I wanted to tell her I don't owe her anything and if her life sucks then she shouldn't take it out on people who are out there helping others get on with their life. I wanted to yell back at her but I didn't. I didn't because I know it would cost me my job. I didn't because I knew I didn't have to go down to her level and lose my cool.

I just wanna leave this place, right now. It's raining outside but I would happily take a walk, only if my boss would let me go. But my boss isn't here right now and despite the aversion I feel, I am still dedicated to this profession I choose. Yes, I am dedicated until I see an opportunity to get outta here.

Hopefully I see that opportunity soon. I need to permanently get outta here.