Another First

First love. First kiss. First breakup.

First layoff. Yep, I got my first layoff notice today with my paycheck. My job will cease approximately 2 months from now. Uh huh. Like I really care. I have a few jobs lined up already, only they don't pay as much. But hey, they're jobs. Something to do so I could pay my bills, have a roof over my head and eat.

The only thing that's really bugging me right now is the fact that I am tired of my career track. I feel like this is the perfect time for me to change. I am emotionally and mentally exhausted from my work. I need a vacation so bad and hopefully I'll get a chance to do that before starting another one.

I'm sort of happy to be getting off this carousel - carousel of bad, toxic politics, deception and lots of other bullshit. The truth is, I only stayed for the money. I needed money to pay my bills, my car and other things. Now it's time to get off this damn carousel. The music's become suffocating and I'm about to puke. And I don't think I'd wait until June 30th to get off. I'm thinking of accepting a job offer to work with the Filipino Community. I'm thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it.

Coz my other option is to get a job totally unrelated to Social Work. I need a break from people's god damn problems. I need a break from listening and processing and counseling. Hell, I have my own shit to deal with too, no? Nine years. Nine years of listening to other people's shit. I think it's about time for me to take a break.

It wouldn't have been as bad if there wasn't too much politics in here. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't top-down development. I expected that non-profits in a First World Country would be so much better and more progressive than non-profit agencies in developing countries but shit. I got the total surprise of my life. It's worse.

It's time to say good bye.

So long.